You know that cool card trick I know? (Readers: "no") It's because I know "wizardry."
How silly/stupid.
A Florida teacher may have to pull an unemployment check out of his hat after performing magic in front of students, according to reports.
Jim Piculas said he made a toothpick disappear and reappear in front of students at the Rushe Middle School in Land 'O Lakes, Fla., Local6.com reported. He said he later got a call from the supervisor of teachers, saying he had been accused of wizardry.
"I get a call the middle of the day from head of supervisor of substitute teachers. He says, 'Jim, we have a huge issue. You can't take any more assignments. You need to come in right away,'" he told Local6.com.
Piculas said he’s concerned the incident may prevent him from being considered for future jobs.
Click the link to watch the latest Angry Video Game Nerd video. This one has it all. He reviews a crappy movie and a great game. He also does a parady of the greatest movie of all time and ends with a kiss-ass cliffhanger. There's also some hillarious stuff at the end that I know I shouldn't be laughing at.
If you don’t already think that Tom Cruise is as crazy as a shit-house rat, here is the definitive proof. This is from a scientology produced video ‘honoring’ Tom Cruise in 2005. All I can say is ‘Wow…’.
EDIT: Am I evil for laughing at line like this: "Lex Luger is apparently paralyzed after suffering a spinal stroke. And somewhere out there, a member of Elizabeth's family is glad they bought that Voodoo doll."
or this: "But still, to think there may have been warning signs. And not just Jim Ross basically telling us that the noble Atlanta Wolverine (indigenous to the climate no doubt) had RABIES. Fuck this steroid shit! Someone find the animal that bit Chris before it strikes again!"
Little Johnny was in his 4th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up - Fireman, Truck Driver, Salesman, etc.
Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by his statement immediately changed the subject and hurriedly set the other children to work on a coloring project. She then took Little Johnny aside and asked him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said Johnny, "He's the defensive coordinator at the University of Nebraska. I was just too embarrassed to say that."
Here's a parody article by good friend (and so-so cousin...jk) James Sabata.
My favorite part:
Seventeen years ago, (Vince) admitted Wrestling was not real. In doing so, he did not have to answer to the steroid allegations. However, this time around, Vincent Kennedy McMahon realized that it was only professional wrestling being targeted. No one seems to mind that steroid use is abundant in Hockey, Football, Basketball, the LPGA, and Baseball. ... By becoming a legitimate sport, the hope is that they will no longer be targeted by Congress or anyone else asking bothersome questions.
A man who just died is delivered to a Kentucky mortuary wearing an expensive expertly tailored black suit. Bubba the mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look very good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives Bubba a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing."
The woman returns the next day for the viewing. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to Bubba, "Whatever the cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?"
To her astonishment, Bubba presents her with the blank check.
Dere's no charge," he says.
"No, really, I must pay you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!" she says.
"Honestly, ma'am," Bubba says, "it didn't cost me a ting. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his missus if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice."
Here's a clip of the Iron Sheik freaking out an autograph signing. The F-Bombs are directed at The Ultimate Warrior. Not sure who caused the scuffle, but I think we can all agree that the Warrior is very lucky he didn't get "humbled" by the Sheik.
South Park was pretty good last night with spoofs on the Da Vinci Code and William Donahue. I suppose you have to be Catholic to understand the humor of Donahue taking the Pope's hat and having him thrown in jail, but trust me, it's hilarious.
Quote from Donahue: "I have no idea why ‘South Park’ creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker caricature me as a heartless thug. In any event, I stand convicted and have no defense. Now I have to get back to business—I hear someone just took some liberties with the Easter Bunny."
Bill, anyone who's seen you on TV knows why South Park would portray you as a "heartless thug."
A misprint in an Idaho phone directory leads to this:
In a roughly 30-second message callers hear after dialing the bum number, a bubbly woman's voice begins, "Hi, there. If today were the last day of your life, would you be ready to meet God?"
She goes on to ask callers to consider what Jesus Christ has done on their behalf, "so that when your last day comes, you'll be ready."
