Every Story Has Two Sides by James Rumpel
Captain Abe Lorentz checked the water intake valve. Technically, he wasn’t a captain but as the only crewmember of his goods transport ship, he felt he deserved whatever perks he could get and calling himself “Captain” was one such perk. Something that was not a perk was being stranded on an uncharted planet because of a navigation system error. Luckily for him, the planet had an abundant supply of water and he would be able to fill the tanks and begin converting the hydrogen to fuel in short order.
He had just put away the intake hoses when he noticed a group of the planet’s inhabitants approaching. A trio of roughly human-looking creatures were slowly walking toward him. Their primitive garb, awkward gait, and oversized foreheads made it clear that they were not a very advanced culture. One of the neanderthal look-alikes was pushing a crude sled filled with something shiny. The creatures were not far enough evolved to have invented the wheel.
Abe considered ignoring them, climbing into his ship, and leaving this backward planet. However, the glistening cargo of the sled caught his eye. Maybe he could turn his unfortunate detour to this planet into a profit. There was never a downside to making a lucrative acquisition when the opportunity presented itself. If the sled was carrying something valuable it would likely be very easy to dupe the unsophisticated denizens of this world.
Grabbing a couple of items from his pack and sticking them into his belt, Abe moved to meet the creatures. He held up his hands to show that he meant to harm.
The creatures stopped and looked at each other, confused. Without a word, they looked at Abe and raised their hands, mimicking his gesture.
Moving even closer, Abe snuck a quick peek at the contents of the sled. He wasn’t certain but it appeared to him that the shiny items were large diamonds. That roughly constructed sled held what would be a fortune on nearly every planet in the galaxy.
Smiling, Abe tapped his chest and announce, “Me, Abe.”
Again, his backward visitors stared at each other. Finally, one of them tapped his own chest and mumbled a few guttural sounds that were probably an attempt to copy Abe’s words.
“These things are so stupid that this is going to be more difficult than I planned,” thought Abe. The creatures seemed unable or unwilling to speak. The universal translator that hung from his belt would be useless without some sort of initial data with which to work. He pointed to the large lake that he had gotten the water from and said, “Water.”
The creatures did not respond.
Successive attempts to get them to utter their words for sky, tree, and grass proved just as futile. Finally, he gave up all pretense and grabbed one of the gems out of the cart. One of the creatures started to reach and stop him but never finished the action. It slowly returned its arm to its side and continued to stare at Abe, the same confused look on his face as all the others in his group.
Abe quickly ran his hand-held scanner over the jewel. Just as he expected it was a diamond though there was one additional minor element the scanner could not identify. Even if the diamonds were not one hundred percent pure, they would be unbelievably valuable. Now the trick was going to be finding a way to get the backward creatures of this planet to give them to him. He considered drawing a weapon and taking the prize by force but what the creatures lacked in intelligence they made up for in size and brute strength, a fact made obvious by how easily they pushed the sled and its heavy burden.
He pulled a small multi-use tool from his belt and flipped the second switch on the upper set of buttons. Instantly, a flame erupted from one end of the device. The creatures grunted nervously. One or two of them took cautious steps back.
“You like?” asked Abe. He pointed to the small flame. “Fire.” He extended it toward the creatures.
One of them slowly inched forward and reached for the device only to pull its hand back when it felt the heat coming from the fire.
Abe flipped another switch and a bright beam of light shot out of the tool. He shined the light on one of the creatures. It tried to catch the small spot on its chest. The others grunted with glee.
A third switch produced a vibrating blade from the multi-use tool. Abe used it to cut the trunk of a nearby sapling. Again, his audience showed their appreciation with a chorus of grunts. The creatures fell to their knees. Abe couldn’t believe his good fortune. They thought he was some sort of god.
It was time for the big move. Abe pointed to the device and then toward the creatures. The one who had attempted to touch the flame stepped forward. He appeared to be their leader. The creature reached for the device but Abe pulled it back at the last second. He pointed to the sled full of diamonds and then to the open cargo hold of his ship.
It took ten attempts to finally get the dim-witted creatures to understand. Once they did, it was only a matter of minutes before they pushed the sled into the ship. After the ship was loaded, Abe handed the leader the multi-use tool and quickly retreated to his vessel. He didn’t want the creatures to decide that they didn’t like the deal they had made.
He immediately started the ship’s engine. The roar they made and the flames that burst from the propulsion unit drove his visitors back. Even if they wanted to, they couldn’t stop him now. Soon, the ship lifted off the planet and began rising toward the heavens. Abe, unable to believe his amazing luck, couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. This had turned out to be a very good day after all.
#
“I hate these physical exercise days,” said Boo as he took his turn pushing the sled filled with exprocks. He didn’t say it out loud. He didn’t have to; his race, the Larians, were capable of communicating telepathically.
“So do I,” replied his friend, Tau. “But you know as well as I do that if we let the robots do all the work, we would get fat and flabby. Besides, the fresh air is great. It’s better than being cooped up in an underground city every day.”
“It’s easy work,” added Phon, another member of the party. “And, the exprocks aren’t near maturity, so it’s the perfect time to move them to the safety zone.”
“Hey,” said Boo. “Do you see that spaceship by the lake? We haven’t had any visitors here in quite a while. Let’s go check it out.”
The alien pilot of the ship saw them approaching and came to meet them. The tiny creature was roughly Larian-looking though its fine features and tiny cranium suggested that it was from a less developed culture. Still, the creature’s race had achieved space flight, so there had to be some degree of intelligence present.
“I’ve tried to communicate with it,” said Tau, “but it’s not responding. I think it must only be able to communicate orally.”
The alien approached the group of Larians. Its eyes instantly fell upon the sled load of exprocks.
“It seems interested in the exprocks,” said Boo.
“I bet it believes they are simple diamonds,” said Tau.
“Do you think it’s going to try and negotiate with us?” asked Phon.
“Oh, this could be fun,” added Tau. “Let’s play with it a little.”
“Look,” said Boo, “it’s trying to communicate with us by using hand signals and vocalization.”
“Its name is Abe,” said Phon.
“Abe’s an idiot,” added Boo.
Tau tapped his own chest and mimicked that alien, causing his friends to laugh silently, but hysterically.
“Oh, look. It’s trying to teach us its language,” giggled Phon.
“Maybe we should quit fooling around and welcome him to our planet. We’re not being very nice.”
Tau agreed with Boo but before he could say anything the alien grabbed one of the exprocks from the sled. Phon started to stop the alien but pulled back his hand when Tau told him to let the alien have one of the gems.
“This jerk really is trying to take our exprocks?” asked Phon.
“Well, if it thinks they’re regular diamonds they would likely be worth a fortune in his world,” answered Tau.
Boo turned his head to look at his friends. “So, it’s trying to pull a fast one on us. It’s trying to steal what it thinks is our treasure.”
“Like I said before,” said Phon. “What a jerk.”
“I think we should let it have them,” said Tau.
“I agree,” replied Boo. “But let’s have some fun with him.”
The Larians watched as the alien pulled out a device and lit a small flame. The group stepped back, pretending to be scared of the fire.
“Is that a multi-use device?” asked Phon.
Tau stepped toward the alien. “Yeah, I remember building one of them when I was in pre-school. I’m going to pretend that I don’t know what it is.”
Next, the alien activated the device’s built-in flashlight and shined it on Boo’s chest. Boo, playfully pretended to try and grab the spot.
“Is he actually going to try and trade a flashlight and a lighter for what he thinks is a box of valuable jewels. That’s ridiculous.”
“You’re right, Boo,” said Tau. “He deserves to get the exprocks and everything that goes with them.”
The tiny alien used the multi-tool one more time. This time to cut down a small tree using a vibrating knife.
“I can’t take this anymore,” said Phon. He dropped to his knees, a Larian gesture normally only used when extremely angry with someone, especially if that someone cut your hover-pad off in traffic.
Laughing, the rest of the party did the same.
The Larians watched as the alien repeatedly offered them the device and indicated that he wanted the exprocks moved to his ship.
Eventually, Tau said, “Okay, enough is enough. Let’s put the sled on his ship. If he takes them off the planet it’s just as good as if we pushed them to the safety zone.”
Soon, the alien was inside its vessel and the engines ignited.
“Boy, that thing is loud,” said Boo as he watched the ship rise into the atmosphere.
“You know, guys,” said Phon, “I feel a little guilty about giving him those exprocks.”
“Not me,” answered Tau. “He acted like he was so much better than us. It’s his own fault if he doesn’t know what they are. Besides, he has time to figure it out. They shouldn’t reach maturity and explode for at least ten days.”
“Gee, I hope they blow up before he gets back to his homeworld. I’m okay with him being blown to bits, but I’d hate to have a bunch of innocents killed too.”
Everyone turned to look at Phon.
“Way to put a damper on things,” said Tau. “Now let’s finish our exercises and head back to school. We probably shouldn’t tell anyone about what happened here.”
—
James Rumpel is a retired high school math teacher who has greatly enjoyed using his newfound additional free time to rekindle his love for science fiction and the written word.
