Mind-Share by James Rumpel

Mike and Marsha Lowell stared at the peculiar salesman. The creature’s body looked roughly human, having the correct number of arms and legs, but its head was twice the normal size. His eyes were as large as tea saucers and his mouth appeared large enough to swallow a watermelon whole.

“Before we start,” said Mike, “I want to be perfectly clear on this. We get the hotel voucher whether we buy your product or not, is that correct?”

“Most definitely,” replied their alien host. “It’s standard procedure to allow you to keep the voucher as long as you stay for the entire presentation. I’m certain it won’t be an issue because the deal we have is too good to pass up.”

“We’ll see,” said Marsha.

The alien slid a paperclip-sized computer across the desk. “If you’ll both please leave your fingerprint on this document to verify you agree to participate in this meeting, I will put in the order for your voucher and we can begin.”

Mike touched his thumb to the device and an automated voice called out, “Michael Lowell, confirmed.” A similar announcement was made when Marsha applied her thumb.

“Great,” said the sales agent. “Please feel free to stop me and ask any questions that you might have during the presentation. I’ll try to answer all your queries. My name is Joe and I want you to be able to make an informed decision.”

“Is your name really Joe?” asked Marsha.

“That’s not important,” replied Joe. “What is important is that there exists an entire universe of exotic planets waiting for you to visit them.” Holographic images of dozens of various types of planets appeared on the desk. “But we all know interstellar travel is dangerous, time-consuming, and expensive. My flight to Earth from Gammoid IV took nearly two of your years and cost approximately 5 million.”

The holographic planets disappeared and were replaced by an image of the interior of a decrepit spaceship. Tiny bunk-beds lined one wall. A messy lounge area featured a ripped sofa and a crooked table. Sparks flew from what appeared to be an antique microwave oven before it burst into flame.

“Interstellar ships aren’t that rundown, are they?” asked Mike.

Joe continued, “Luckily, there is a way for you to go to magnificent worlds without facing the hassle and expense of physical travel. The technology we have developed allows you to be instantly transported to any of the thirty-three planets within our network.” The ship disappeared from the desk, replaced by the Mind-Share company’s three-dimensional logo.

“How long does it take?” asked Marsha.

“How can we do this? You ask,” continued Joe. “What we do is beam your consciousness across space and into the body of a resident of the desired world. You then get to spend approximately two Earth weeks in that body. You have access to everything the planet has to offer: art, natural beauty, entertainment, history.

Marsha held up her hand. “Is that safe?”

“As safe as riding a Kartoidian Bangerwaffle.”

“We don’t know what that is,” said Mike.

“If you traveled to Kartoid you would.” Joe took out a device resembling a flashlight and shined its beam on Mike and Marsha’s foreheads.

“Hmmm,” he said, “it appears that you are both below 25% convinced. Let me talk about the most attractive detail, the price. You can purchase a mind-share on Luvata Prime for only five-hundred thousand credits.”

“That’s a lot of money.”

“No, it isn’t, Marsha. You see, this isn’t a one-time purchase. You get the right to sign-up for two weeks of Mind-Share every year. And if you get tired of visiting Luvata Prime, you can trade your two weeks with other Mind-Share owners who have time booked on other planets. It’s like getting thirty-three worlds for the price of one.”

“Wasn’t Luvata Prime nearly destroyed by nuclear war? Who in their right mind would want to trade with us to go there? Most of its surface is covered with poisonous gas.”

“We have sold nearly one-hundred mind-shares to Luvata Prime. We only have about fifty units remaining. They’re going fast.”

Marsha shook her head and began to stand up. “There must be a less than 1% chance of finding someone willing to trade for Luvata.”

“Think of the trillions of beings in the universe, one percent is a lot of potential trade partners.”

“Come on, Mike,” said Marsha, “let’s get out of here.”

“Remember, you forfeit your hotel voucher if you don’t stay for the entire presentation,” cautioned Joe.

Marsha glared at Mike, who shrugged. She sat back down. “Do you have any other planet’s available?”

“It seems to me you’re concerned about the cost,” replied Joe. “There is an option that can cut the price in half. You can sign up to have your bodies used as mind-shares while you’re visiting other exotic worlds. Millions of aliens would love the chance to visit Earth. Your planet has quite a reputation in the galaxy. There’s a lot of buzz about your beautiful landscapes, excellent cuisine, and lack of advanced security systems.”

“You mean, someone or something else would be in control of my body?” Marsha shuttered.

“There’s a twenty-five-credit safety deposit.” Before he could continue, Joe’s computer squealed. “Oh, I’m sorry. I have to take this call. It’s my supervisor. Why don’t you two stay here and watch a short orientation presentation.”

The alien rose from the desk reaching a height of over seven feet. “I’ll be back shortly. The presentation will begin shortly. Please watch and listen carefully, there are many important details.” With two long strides, Joe was out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

Marsha turned to Mike. “You’re not interested in this, are you? You know these deals charge all sorts of annual fees and are almost impossible to get out of.”

Mike shook his head. “I have no interest at all but for two free nights at the Moon Base Hilton, it’s worth it. We just have to say no at the end.”

“Please, sit back and enjoy while we tell you about the Mind-Share and all its magnificent opportunities.” The holographic presentation had begun. An image of the entire galaxy appeared above the desk. It quickly zoomed in on a single planet. As the couple watched, different colored lights flashed in an indiscernible pattern, drawing their attention.

The presentation’s narrator spoke about the process of mind-sharing and described the planets available for visiting. Several previous customers gave testimonials. They all said the same thing, “We love Mind-share. The deal is too good to pass up.” Through it all, the kaleidoscope of lights continued to blink.

By the end, Mike and Marsha were so mesmerized by the presentation that they didn’t notice Joe return.

“So, what do you think?” he asked.

In unison, Mike and Marsha replied, “We love Mind-Share. The deal is too good to pass up.”

“Great,” said Joe, “I’ve got the contract right here.”

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James Rumpel is a retired high school math teacher who has greatly enjoyed using his newfound additional free time to rekindle his love for science fiction and the written word.